confirmance:

i wonder if anyone else in the world has the same password as me

postllimit:

why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

2yrs:

take a chill pill, your honor

p-eachful:

sometimes I think I’m better than everyone else but then I remember I am

jesus-would-follow-me:

the size of your thighs, or your waist, doesn’t matter

its the size of your bank account that we really care about

mcdonaldsstaff:

trying to get your crush’s attention like

image

ambitiousbard:

just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr

foxxycleopatra:

"i can’t figure out this problem"

teacher: use your head

image

flatsound:

i wanna feel how dogs feel when you let them go in a big field 

hotboyproblems:

i want every single high school musical song played at my wedding

flums:

If u think someone (me) is cute you should tell them (me)

backwoodsbarbie61:

*Jamie Lee Curtis voice* could you like, chill, for a sec?

flymyass:

flymyass:

flymyass:

flymyass:

whats cOler than coldy freeze

really cold!!!

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY

i was fucking stoned as shit and feeling awful and barely remember even making this text post why in the hell does it have 9,000+ notes